Yesterday I fucked it up. I got nervous because a guy from work was coming over and I immediately jumped to the need for “liquid courage” that I have always gone to as my coping skill. I woke today feeling guilty but not upset with myself. It was a learning lesson and one that I think had to happen. I didn’t get drunk and we had a really nice conversation. I actually didn’t need the alcohol. It’s all in my head that I think I do. He plans to come over Sunday so we can cook dinner together and I now know there’s ZERO reason I need to drink. I have all my coping skills in my literal toolbox. If I get nervous before he comes over (which I don’t think I will) I can color in my new Dr Suess coloring book. I can do the puzzle that’s so frustrating but really keeps my brain occupied. Stuff like that. I have no doubt that I can go without the alcohol. Again, I think that was a lesson to show me that it’s all ok. So that’s it for now. I’ll write again tonight. Bye, kiddos!